January 3, 2016

From Ryan's Porch

Pardon the poem. 


DAYpoem: 1/2/16 


Slept in till noon 

Felt sad and sick 


Putzed around till 3

Helping mother try on clothes, father picked out, for a bit. 

Went to the Rosen's 

Sat on their porch 

My life flashed by quickly in the 2015 pictures I had to sort. 


Totally insane... Looking at shit 

form exactly a year ago

It scared me a bit 

How fast time has moved 

Felt ready to quit 

I've changed

I’ve forgot 

so much

of my very brief past. 


The sun started to set and I set out capture

The clouds and the color and the days mini rapture. 

Calib, Patric, Ryan, and I ate tacos and more and I showed them my new machine made white ink,scar. We talked about contracts, which they expressed that they liked, like the whole concept and would be the first to sign. 


It was sweet 

Dessert was sweeter

Chocolate honey comb, 6425

Picked up Josh 

Dropped the boys at their home. 






the placement on my writ of a large dinosaur stamp. 


Back, we mingled

Till a little tingle to escape sent us off in the woods.

Dylan, Josh, Stephen, Jacob. 

Floating a little higher, we mingled again, 

this time everyone seemed a bit more like a friend. 

Listened to music 

Heard Alden was near, a name I taken so much time to forget I'd forgotten he might end up here. 

I slowly bolted

My confidence jolted

Drank water with Drew and Stephen joined, keeping me company as we swayed

Watching the show

Later, Dylan and Josh joined, I felt blessed, though I was living out a nightmare of the boy I used to love coming back right after I’d gotten a tattoo commemorating getting over him, it felt a bit like a cruel cosmic test. 

so sweet and supportive, I knew I wouldn't crack

I focused on the moment, listened, watched, danced. 


We left rather quickly

Drove Josh to Tide Water

Talked to Dylan

Lost and pool

Picked songs for karaoke

was too late, a little optimistic fool.


I slid down on the bar stool, sick apparently, sat coiled up outside trying to asses what was happening to me. Illness obvious in my sunken eyes, face ashen, I was again grateful for my super sweet friends. They helped me go home where this poem began and the night basically ends. 


Sitting on my kitchen floor

My sister feeds me rice cakes 

Ryan ready to go out the door

They laugh like I'm drunk and super delirious

I think I'm fine, through the queezy headache is a bit mysterious. 

I don't like being laughed at? They think someone slipped me drugs

Who knows

It doesn't matter 

'Cus I feel super loved 

as they stand all around me, father, Katie, Ryan 

I slouch off to bed 

Like a giggly floppy drugged up lion. 


Day twos done

And it proved:

- I hate sleeping in, it makes me depressed 

- I should changed out of pjs because it helpful to be dressed 

- I like doing work with out people coming in and out

- Cataloging pictures is difficult and makes me want to pout. 

- I love my new little group of del mar surfer boys

- I love Matthew Britt and Josh 

The plans now sunsets 

and poems that 

sum up my day, and list a few of its facts. 





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